the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
