She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
