at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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