i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize