My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
