He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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