At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
