I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
