I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
