i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If that was your dad, he is hot
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
