i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i think my cat just said my name.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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