just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
