Her vagina should come with caution tape.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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