So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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