I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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