it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
why is half of my head shaved?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
