We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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