Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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