The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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