if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
