i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
