That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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