btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
