So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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