I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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