i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
