Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize