Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
