I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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