Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
no you cant smoke seaweed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
