She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
