Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Randomize
