dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize