your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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