this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
