she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
