How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
