Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
