I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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