I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
