It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
