She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
