should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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