I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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