I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
