I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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