you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
a search helicopter?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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