he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize