im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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