Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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