need another drink. this is the easiest way
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
