And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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