You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
