There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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