Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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