Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
