is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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