alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
