you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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