He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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