if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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