This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
